CarEnvy.ca

Globe and Mail’s Joys of Vehicular Sex

The Globe and Mail has just posted up their Valentine’s Guide to Vehicular Sex, presumably in time for ardent readers to rush out and get themselves one of their listed vehicles in time for VD…uh, Valentine’s Day.

This article also mentions a certain documentary about mechaphiles who do, indeed, have sex with their cars, not just in them. It’s called Strangelove: My Car Is My Lover.

As I discovered after viewing this documentary for myself awhile back, some intrepid soul put it up on YouTube in its entirety. Simply look at this user’s other videos and follow the links to view the whole thing in its entirety. You know, if you like. Auto-eroticism as you may not have considered it previously. There was that lady who married the Eiffel Tower awhile back…

Well, you do know what they say, right? Isn’t that one word something about being “for unlawful car knowledge?”

The Next Pagani: Codename “C9″

The Pagani Zonda isn’t the most common of Italian-Argentian-Germanic supercars. In fact, over the last decade of production, only about 100 units have made it into the hands of wealthy connoisseurs. That only works out to about 10 cars per year. Still, it is one of the most exciting and talked about exotics on the road because of its stunning attention to detail, huge pricetag, magnanimous 7.3L Mercedes V12, and a sprinkling of entomological magic.

Now, Evo UK’s Harry Metcalfe has the inside scoop on the Zonda’s replacement, internally known as the C9. His 6 nuggets of knowledge are below. Read the rest of this entry »

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Tangential Treatise #2: The Bentley Continental Finally Makes Sense, Marks The End Of An Era

I recently attended the 2010 Edmonton Motor Show where I saw the usual wares from the usual manufacturers. None of this was terribly exciting. The Canadian auto show circuit is now withering away, signalling the renewed cyclical scapegoatism that the motor car periodically enjoys. It will be years before the internal combustion engine is de-villified (again) and we are reminded (again) that electricity is merely a means of energy transmission, not itself a means of propulsion. George Santayana is attributed with the following quote: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”. This is perhaps a dilution of his original, but the meaning is retained. We usually take the quote in reference to international conflicts of armament, but this is too narrow. It was not by accident, by royal decree, nor divine intervention that the internal combustion engine gained popular acceptance in the latter part of the 19th century while the electric horseless carriage floundered. Nor will electric vehicles replace gasoline-engined ones in my lifetime. But I digress, because gasoline-fueled machines are alive and well. For now.

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The Renault Wind, Not As Clever As You Think

Jalopnik, henceforth referred to as “The J”, is all aflutter about the new Renault Wind. As you can see from this video, the hoopla is surrounding the folding roof mechanism. Ok, it is different from most of the systems we see on cars like the BMW 335i or the Volvo C70, but different is not a synonym for clever. At least not this time, because the Wind is not as clever as the marketing mavens would have you believe. 12 seconds? Not really that fast when compared to the founder of the 180˚ folding hard-top mechanism: the 2005 Ferrari 575M Superamerica.

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What’s Cooler? Battle Of The Battle Wagons

Life is all about change. When I was young and single I had small cars that fit my life. Rather, I could fit my life into small cars. I could cram almost everything I owned into my 1985 Honda Prelude. Later, when it was just me and the wife, we had cars like a Dinan-modified BMW 325is and a Mazda Miata LE. We couldn’t put much into them, but they were fun and buzzy and you didn’t care if they were a little uncivilized.

But now there’s going to be a third person in our family. A little wonder who will in time learn to tolerate such automotive silliness but may not spring forth unto this world with the car bug that infects his parents. What’s an expectant father to do?

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F1 Video: Massa Divebombs Schumacher, A Sign Of Things To Come?

This was taken at day 1 of testing in Valencia. Surely, this is a sign of things to come. With all the chatter about the return of Mercedes GP, Schumacher, Hamilton/Jenson,  the holier-than-thou Vettel, and Alonso’s return to Ferrari, I think people are forgetting about Massa. He seems to have taken his time coming back from last year’s injury, and to full effect. He’s my dark horse for 2010.

[YouTube via Silverlutra]

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How Hard Can It Be? 1966 Triumph 2000

If you look up Triumph on Wikipedia, the first sentence you will read is this: “The Triumph Motor Company is a defunct British motor manufacturer.” Sad. Established in 1885, Triumph graduated from selling bicycles to creating nimble little sports car and moderately competent sports sedans. However, by the bitter end in 1984, Triumph was reduced to selling the cheese-wedge TR7 (actually cancelled in 1981) and a rebadged Honda Civic known as the Acclaim. The company name is now owned by BMW, and Triumph has became just another punchline for the British car industry.

Speaking of pulling punches, welcome back to a long-overdue How Hard Can It Be? Read the rest of this entry »

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The 2010 Edmonton Motor Show Recap

The 2010 Edmonton Motor Show was this past weekend, in case you forgot to look at your calendar. As you would expect, CarEnvy was there in full force. Ok, so it was just me and a few friends, but at least someone went. The show was noticeably smaller than in years past. Almost depressingly so. It was as if the economic contraction of 2008 and 2009 had just sunk in now. No matter, there was still enough new exotic hardware to keep us interested.

The highlights included a pair of Spyker C8s (but no Saab in tow), a Gulf-liveried Ford GT (just like John Mayer’s!), a Bentley Continental Supersports, a Aston Martin DBS Volante, a Ferrari 599, a Ferrari California, and a type 993 Carrera convertible tuned by Ruf.

A gallery of their exquisite detailing is after the jump.

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Lotus Elise Racing: It Doesn’t Get Any Better

This video is far from new, but watching it again brings no shortage of joy to my cold, Canadian heart. This remains one of the best documented examples of wheel-to-wheel racing proficiency that I’ve ever seen. It is certainly good enough to warrant a quick visit over to eBay Motors. Lo and behold, a British Racing Green Lotus Elise with less than 5000 miles can me mine yours for aboot $30,000. So tempting…

[eBay Motors, YouTube]

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Jack Baruth: The Toyota Prius As A Luxury Car

Jack Baruth is as well known for his skill on the race track as his editorials on the internet. I’ve been reading Avoidable Contact for nearly two years now. Since then, Baruth decreed that the Nissan GT-R would be an abysmal sales failure in North America, he chronicled the advent of fake luxury, the joys of the Porsche option catalog, and published the seminal work on the futility of comparing lap times at the Nurburgring. I’ve always looked forward to Jack’s next instalment because he combines history, foresight, and a challenge to conventional wisdom. His brashly upstream style of writing is a refreshing change from the usual groupthink crap that floats around the web and print media.

For his most recent literary exploration, Jack likens the Toyota Prius, as a brand, to the Apple iPod. Both have undeniably had a halo effect on the other products their companies offer. This certainly holds true in light of the new iPad, a product that I want desperately to like but can’t seem to justify with anything resembling logic. Between my iPhone 3G and my 13” aluminum MacBook, I don’t see the gap in my life that Steve Jobs and Jony Ive created yesterday with the introduction of their plus-sized book reader.

Regardless, Jack’s argument is that since hipsters buy Apple products and hipsters buy Toyota Prii, all other computers and hybrid vehicles are second-rate and not “cool”. Read the rest of this entry »

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