How Hard Can It Be? 1988 Alfa Romeo Milano
Thu, Jul 16, 2009
Alfa Romeo has a heritage any car company would be proud of. The pre-war 6C and 8C monsters, piloted by the old masters such as Nuvolari and Caracciola, dominated sports car racing. Even Enzo Ferrari had his shield on an 8C-35 for a time. Later, the smaller Alfas, the 105/115 Series did showroom and race track battle with other small boxes like the Datsun 510 and the BMW 2002.
In the heady 1970′s, Alfa Romeo began using a transaxle, which is a fancy way of saying the transmission is at the rear. The first application was the Alfetta line of cars which later became the GTV6. Then came the 75, known as the Milano in North America.
Which brings us to your daily dose of ambition-crusted suck pile, also known as How Hard Can It Be?
The Milano was produced from 1985 to 1992. Despite looks that could be charitably considered challenging, it was quite successful. Foisted upon North America in four versions between 1987 and 1989, they offered an interesting alternative to a BMW or Mercedes. Today, most are either cherished weekend toys or junkyard fodder. In Germany there is a company that rents track-prepared 75s for use on the Nürburgring. Then there is this.
Why is it that all advertisements for used Milanos contain a euphemism equating the car to a challenging woman, one who is a lot of fun when she’s in a good mood? Wait, don’t answer that. The seller tells us little about this Milano except she loves it and it needs work. Try to imagine the nightmare a Milano a million miles away from the nearest qualified technician could be. I’m sure some farm tools and a bit of luck could fix anything that crops up.
It’s not like the cars are complicated. Sure, the actuator rods for the exhaust valve rockers are Rube Goldberg’s wet dream. Yes, the car has not one, but three driveshaft flex discs. Has the V6 had its timing belt replaced? We hope so, since when the belt lets go all the valves turn into day-old fettuccini. And the electrics… hey, it’s Italian!
At least when it the timing belt lets go you’ll be sitting comfortably. The Recaro seats (original, in fact) look to be straight and not saggy, though the paper-thin cloth material is destroyed. You can marvel at a dashboard completely devoid of curvature.
One minor thing: the car has been stolen and recovered. I’m sure the potential buyer would be willing to overlook that. I mean, how horrible could the thief have been to this poor car? How horrible would you be to car whose engine sings like Bocelli all the way to redline?
Whereas FIAT translates to Fix It Again Tony, Alfa stands for Always Looking For Another. Which may be true. You’ll always be looking for another part, another cash infusion, another bottle of whiskey.
[ Craigslist ]
Tags: 75, Alfa Romeo, BMW 2002, Caracciola, Datsun 510, Milano, Nuvolari
that’s one of the rare Verde Milano’s, which had the hotter 3.0L V6 and the Recaros, body kit, etc. It was to the Milano what the M3 was to the E30 3-series, if you will. VERY rare find. VERY cool car. But even I (currently dealing with an elusive coolant leak as well as a slipping clutch on my ’88 Saab 900 Turbo) am not stupid enough to buy that Alfa. It would only end in tears.
Fantastic post!
It’s definitely rare alright, many liked this car according to reviews…must have owned or tried one before. This must be one great car.
Let’s see… ALPHA Milano, 2 ALPHA junkers as parts cars, a complete set of mechanics tools, three different ALPHA manuals (because each one has totally different instructions), a heated garage with 2 lift bays (one for the Milano and one for the junker being ravaged), and a couple of cases of vodka. Not a bad way to spend the Winter. Of course, you will then be spending the Spring, Summer, and Fall there too.