Editorial by Stirling
- October 22, 2009
Russian Marque Discovers Most Luxurious Seating Material Ever… maybe.
RussoBaltique is a luxury, armoured car manufacturer that tends towards a certain kind of typically Russian lunacy. While it is the most expensive SUV ever, and is gaudy as all get out, the most ridiculous part is the seating material. The most “luxurious” seating material I have ever heard of isn’t alcantara, it isn’t silk, it isn’t a fine suiting wool, it sure as hell isn’t vinyl, and it isn’t leather, well, not normal leather at least. It is…
WHALE PENIS! That’s right, because nothing says “exclusive” like being surrounded by the skin of massive penises. This monstrosity will show its goods for the first time at the Monaco Motor Show. The dried sea shlong isn’t the only ridiculous thing about this car though. Since this is Russian excess, they decided to plate the windows in gold and affix some rubies to the dash as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a special edition with a marble console in the works either.
PS: Just imagine 20 years down the road when the interior gets a wrinkly and your friends start calling you “Rumple Foreskin.”
4 Responses to “Russian Marque Discovers Most Luxurious Seating Material Ever… maybe.”
I’ve been wanting to redo my kitchen for a while but I haven’t been able to think of a material for the counters that is water-resistant AND says I’ve got more money than you can imagine. Until now!
By Peter on Oct 22, 2009
hahaha whale penis!?That must be really expensive, I can’t even begin to imagine the cost of even finding such a thing…
By Carz on Oct 23, 2009
Peter, that’s the most disturbing thing I’ve heard in a long time.
By Stirling on Oct 23, 2009