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Let’s begin by not mentioning Ralph Nader. Let’s not mention him because well before he was fiddling about in US elections, resulting in mentally deficient leadership, he was mucking up the automobile industry. And that twat Joan Claybrook. Let’s not speak of her, either.

Let instead talk about when General Motors wasn’t afraid to try new things. You had the Pontiac Tempest that featured a rear-mounted transaxle, contributing to near 50/50 weight distribution, and four-wheel independent suspension, which actually made it sort of handle. You have the Oldsmobile F-85 with its turbocharged, aluminum 215 CID V8. And of course, you have the Chevrolet Corvair, the General’s first production foray into engines in the rear and swing in the axles.

Welcome back to How Hard Can It Be?, where we always swing, usually toward the rear.

The Corvair looped (looped… get it?) itself into our collective consciousness in 1960. Motivation, such as it was, was provided by a horizontally-opposed, aluminum, air-cooled six-cylinder engine. Horsepower ranged from 80 in its original 2.3-litre form to 180 in later turbocharged Corsa dressing.

While I am partial to the later Corvairs, which bear more than a passing resemblance to the famed BMW 2800 and 3.0 coupes, there is something dismally goofy compelling about these early wagons. Yes, I know we pound hard on the station wagon geek drum, but this isn’t some 1993 Caprice Classic. This is a pathetic orphan an über-rare charmer, a Corvair Lakewood! Forget the Greenbriar van-pickup thing with its funky fold-down side entry and Volkswagen Transporter leanings; this is the real Crackerjack prize.

To the best of our knowledge, nobody has ever massively overclocked a Corvair station wagon. That’s a shame. The Corvair Monza wagon was lukewarm at best kind of hot right from the factory with its optional 102-horsepower “Super Turbo-Air” (which was not actually turbocharged) pancake-six engine. But we’re pretty sure the number of Porsche 911-powered Corvair wagons equals something less than one. Racing ‘Vair coupes were popular and don’t forget the Yenko Stinger and the CORV8, the latter powered by a mid-mounted small block Chevy V8.

This Lakewood is probably a 1961 700, given its beltline moulding all the way around the car and its clear reverse light lenses. One assumes if it were a Monza the seller would say so. Otherwise it’s just another old car that is thankfully complete but somehow still needs everything. Rust is not mentioned so is probably a show-stopper not a real problem. The engine and transmission are already out, so that will save you three hours on the 2000-hour restoration.

The seller boldly proclaims this dilapidated heap gem in the rough will be “worth a ton once the restoration is completed.” “Worth a ton” is relative. A ton of one-US-dollar bills weighs in (weighs in… get it?) at a little less than US$1M. We’re unsure any ten Corvairs on the planet are worth that much. Maybe the seller means a ton of US pennies, which would come in at roughly US$3200.

If it were put back together, I’d pony up that amount of dough for this cool first-series Corvair wagon. You should just admit you would, too.

[ Craigslist ]